


fear is the heart of love

by mauvesaidwill (23seok)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Communication, Established Relationship, M/M, POV Third Person Limited, somewhat ooc yuuri, spoilers for ep11, spoilers for ep12 preview, victor spelt viktor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 17:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8853595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/23seok/pseuds/mauvesaidwill
Summary: Viktor is scared, and it's a new sensation. Because he isn't scared of the possibility of losing gold, he's scared of the possibility of losing Yuuri. And Yuuri's one of the most terrifying things to lose.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is rushed, and it might not make a lot of sense, but i really wanted to put a more positive spin on the "After the Final, let's end this." thing b/c boy after watching that the first time i was all Panic! at the GPF, but now i'm fine and it's cool tbh i'll prolly come back and edit this in a couple days or so, when exams end and i am Free
> 
> catch me on my yoi sideblog [yuuriskatsukis](http://yuuriskatsukis.tumblr.com) (deactivated, [here](http://mauvesaidwill.tumblr.com) is main)
> 
> also i'm sure everyone knows this but title is from "i will follow you into the dark" by death cab for cutie
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/23seok) | [tumblr](https://23seok.tumblr.com)

"After the Final," Yuuri says, fists clenched in his lap, "let's end this."

There's silence between them. Viktor adjusts his towel and robe. Yuuri is staring at him, dark eyes like chocolate and warmth and home; Viktor wonders what he's thinking. Yuuri taking initiative in their relationship isn't something super new and wild anymore, but his words, tone, and eye contact make Viktor nervous. "End...  _this_?" He motions between them, and briefly admires the way the light from outside glints on his ring. His eyes glance to the matching one on Yuuri's finger. The light is soft, and it casts a gentle halo around Yuuri's body. Viktor doesn't want  _this_ to mean them—their love, their relationship.

Is this what loving someone is? Viktor wonders to himself. To love so much that the fear takes over?

Yuuri lets out another shaky breath, and Viktor's eyes widen. "Viktor," Yuuri begins, but Viktor can't hear him because he can't stop thinking. About himself. About Yuuri. About them. Together.

Viktor is scared, and it's a new sensation. Because he isn't scared of the possibility of losing gold, he's scared of the possibility of losing Yuuri. And Yuuri's one of the most terrifying things to lose.

"Viktor," Yuuri repeats, and this time it breaks Viktor free of his stupor. Viktor stares at him. "I can't have you as my coach and my, um, whatever I am to you at the same time. Boyfriend, lover, fiancé, any of those, but not those and student. I," he stutters, "I'm afraid that when I can't skate, you'll leave." Viktor opens his mouth, desperate to let Yuuri know that he would never leave him for something as inconsequential as that, but Yuuri isn't finished. "And it's funny because at the same time, I know you'll stay. Even after the ice. So when everything is over, the Final, let's end this: me being your student and your whatever. I still have a long ways to go, and you do too, but we need to take away a part of our relationship to improve the other parts, and I," he smiles, something shy, soft, and reserved—for Viktor  _only_ —and Viktor feels his heart swell with what he knows damn well is love, and then Yuuri's lips are moving again as he says: "I think the other aspects are more important. You're more important. Than the ice, my skates, a gold medal. You're more important to me than any of those. So that's why I want to end this."

Viktor can't breathe, he's so in love. He feels a bit ridiculous, also, when Yuuri suddenly goes a bit red and looks everywhere but him because he should know by now that Yuuri sometimes gets ahead of himself and then crashes and burns when everything becomes too much, but Viktor's never called himself perfect, so instead of thinking much about the oncoming panic in the other man, he wraps his arms around him and holds him. Viktor holds Yuuri Katsuki in his arms and doesn't let go, never wants to let go, all because he can.

"You're more important than all that to me too," he whispers into the other's hair as a smile grows on his face.

Yuuri gently shoves him away; at one point, the action may have offended him, but now he knows that it's just Yuuri being Yuuri and needing his space, so instead of getting annoyed or confused, Viktor just smiles and grabs Yuuri's hand, the one with a ring on the fourth finger, and says: "So we will. You'll do amazing, and we'll end this."

Yuuri smiles again, but this time it's radiant.

And of course it's all for him.

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/23seok) | [tumblr](https://23seok.tumblr.com)


End file.
